Day Two

Actually, it’s been a couple of days since my first post.  No hits yet, but I would be pretty surprised if anyone had found it so soon.  Guess it takes time to “be discovered”.  In the meantime, I shall continue to write, ponder, observe, and record …

Still looking for the mojo but I had a better day with the mindset “fake it ’till you make it’ … of course, it’s hard to sustain and is best suited for bursts of activity.  I recalled a few weeks spent with a personal organizer (I will find her name and post a link to her site, as she was amazing!) while staring at a stack of magazines and catalogues.  There’s something to tackle with relative ease.  Or so I thought.

A tendency to collect things runs in the family – and when you’re into arts and crafts, collecting is that much easier to justify.  I might use (fill in the blank) for (fill in the blank) or (fill in the blank) gives me an idea to (fill in the blank).  So, an innocent stack of magazines and catalogues became a real soul searching task and … God, it’s hard to let go.  I don’t mean of things, although it is or I wouldn’t be in this internal struggle, no – I mean of the idea behind the thing.  For years I have been trying to learn French.  I’ve taken classes, hired a private tutor, tried computer programs, bought all kinds of books and CDs … and know barely more than when I started.  As I stared down at the pile of magazines (half of them in French), I had to acknowledge the truth of the current situation … I am not going to be studying French at this point in time.  I’m just not, and I’m tired of pretending.  So, like ripping off a band aide, I took all the French magazines, the CDs and books and put them in a “donate” pile.

Instantly, I felt … lighter.  Buoyed up from the murky depths of clutter by this sudden jettison of weight.  Granted, it was just a stack of magazines, catalogues and books … but the psychological impact was huge.  I might have even felt a bit of the missing mojo, ever so faintly, like a sailboat on the horizon.  Almost imperceptible to the naked eye, but it’s there and that gives me hope.